Devotional: Resetting Expectations

“As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him…abounding in it with thanksgiving” Colossians 2:6-7

MESSAGE:

How has life turned out for you so far?

As you expected?

I imagine not.

Maybe you have a family of your own, maybe you don’t.

Maybe you have a well-paying job, maybe you don’t.

Does it matter to you?

Does it get you down?

If you have children, what are your expectations of family life…

your hopes and dreams, your ‘ideal day’? 

Do you imagine a sunny day at the beach, children laughing as they play, ice-creams and sandcastles and all singing together on the way home?  

It can happen,

but

What happens when the car breaks down, the rain starts, the children argue constantly in the car, and everyone wants a different song?  

That’s a bit more like it isn’t it?

It is easy to feel, as a parent or carer, that somehow this means that you as a family just haven’t got it right, that you aren’t good enough parents, that you have got some fundamental flaw in your family life.  

Think again.  

We need to be realistic about our expectations of ourselves and each other - real life just isn’t like the adverts for glamorous holidays - it is more unpredictable, full of sensory experiences that affect us all differently, and full of the rainbow of emotions we all carry around with us all the time.  

Maybe we can re-imagine, 

re-frame, 

re-set expectations. 

OK, so Dad took ages and ages to get into the car whilst we all waited for him - but hey, that’s just Dad isn’t it! That’s an opportunity to model a kind of humorous acceptance of each other’s weaknesses, so important for children to hear.

Ok, so the car broke down on the way to the beach - but we went for a walk whilst waiting for a friend to help us, found a tennis ball and stick and played cricket with them in a field. We can look back and remember this together - it is a precious memory made.  

OK, so the children argued in the car - but in the long term all that arguing will teach our children negotiation skills they won’t learn anywhere else.  

OK, so Mum’s ice-cream was snatched out of her hand by a seagull - but the rest of the family will always remember with delight the look of outrage on her face and her frustrated shouts up at the birds. 

So, let’s be realistic about life's expectations.

It is full of ups and downs, success, and failure.  What matters is that we have these experiences together, supporting and accepting each other along the way.

POINT TO PONDER:

What areas of annoyance in life can you reset to thankfulness?

PRAYER:

“Dear Heavenly Father, it’s hard to live with the disappointment of life sometimes. Disappointment is not your appointment for me. Help me to re-frame and re-set these times in life to see where I can be thankful. Help me to change my heart and soften my heart towards experiences that I cannot control. Let my life abound with thanksgiving. In Jesus name, Amen.”